Yes that does make me cold and heartless but thats the way of our world and why should women be martyrs?
I had some photos taken of me the other day and while looking at them I had my lightning bolt, heart breaking epiphany.
I am now officially 'middle aged' and it shows in every frame.
I no longer attract admiring stares from passers by. Any attempt at childish preening and flirting now puts me firmly into crazy lady category. My clothes dont hang gracefully around a firm, super thin body. My skin isnt soft and dewy or even in color.
When I look in the mirror I still see me as I feel- vital, soft, fun, and worldly and much younger than 40. BUT
The camera sees plain, overweight, and old. Lines on the face are like canyons, and grey hairs are beacons of light screaming "PAST HER PRIME". My eyes dont sparkle with enthusiasm in the lens - they are hard and cynical. This was a truly demoralizing moment for me and a sharp slap to the ego.
Pretty faces dont last forever. Bodies dont stay firm and thin unless you work them harder and harder. That smooth brown skin that glowed becomes patchy and dry and you become invisible as a person unless you have an amazing life and large and loud personality or bucketloads of money.
Humans are not wired to appreciate the inner and will not bother unless you have a pretty, shiny outer. Hard lessons and no wishful thinking will change this reality until every person is struck down with blindness.
I was in the market the other day observing a woman, in her 30's( early I would say) tottering around on stiletto ankle boots in a pencil skirt with a baby on her hip and her blonder than blonde wig shining under the fluros. She was fully made up and floating around the fruit section while her other two kids were with the trolley. I thought at first wow, all power to you for dressing up to do the groceries, but she actually wasn't doing anything much except swanning around. Her husband was doing the shopping and as he came out from behind the grapefruit my jaw dropped. He was the most unattractive man I have seen for a while. He was fat, with a huge bushy long beard, in slobby clothes and just generally unpleasant in his presentation and demeanor. He looked a lot older than her and it became obvious by their actions she was there dressed like that purely to make him look good and please him. Why would she do that, I wondered until I saw them go out to their big expensive car.
I am not making a judgement about their lives but it did get me thinking about this article and why the line "diamonds are a girls best friend" speaks volumes to so many women of a 'certain' age. Sound safe secure investment in case things go bad. Yes, love and laughter make the world go around and I wish there was more, but when you cant pay your bills and you lose everything, love and laughter and company is suddenly pretty thin on the ground and money is what will fix it all. I just wish I had invested my time and energy in accumulating more earlier.
I love my friends and some of my family and I adore my current partner (who I will grow old with I hope) but people are people and unpredictable. Diamonds though 'are forever'. Here are the words to refresh your memory of why we all need a back up plan.
Cheers
The Baroness
"Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend"
from GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES (1953)
words by Jule Styne and music by Leo Robin
The French are glad to die for love.
They delight in fighting duels.
But I prefer a man who lives
And gives expensive jewels.
A kiss on the hand
May be quite continental,
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.
A kiss may be grand
But it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat
Or help you at the automat.
Men grow cold
As girls grow old,
And we all lose our charms in the end.
But square-cut or pear-shaped,
These rocks don't loose their shape.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Tiffany's!
Cartier!
Black Starr!
Frost Gorham!
Talk to me Harry Winston.
Tell me all about it!
There may come a time
When a lass needs a lawyer,
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.
There may come a time
When a hard-boiled employer
Thinks you're awful nice,
But get that ice or else no dice.
He's your guy
When stocks are high,
But beware when they start to descend.
It's then that those louses
Go back to their spouses.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
I've heard of affairs
That are strictly platonic,
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.
And I think affairs
That you must keep liaisonic
Are better bets
If little pets get big baguettes.
Time rolls on,
And youth is gone,
And you can't straighten up when you bend.
But stiff back
Or stiff knees,
You stand straight at Tiffany's.
Diamonds! Diamonds!
I don't mean rhinestones!
But diamonds are a girl's best friend
